The tough times

I haven't had a good life. Some things were my fault and other things were out of my control. I didn't know love as a child. Searching for any kind of love lead me to places no child should go. Bedrooms, court rooms, psychiatric hospital. 
 I tried three times to end it all. I loathed myself 24/7. I had no idea what was emotionally healthy. My heart was on my sleeve and people took every opportunity to exploit that. 
To be totally no holds barred honest. My greatest fear right now is getting so low that I don't want to live again because the other times were prior to becoming a nurse. Now that I am a nurse, I know I would not fail again.  

...More to come.